Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Alien Invasion

No, not from Mexico.

Former Astronaut and Moon Walker (heee'-heee!) Edgar Mitchell, 77, claims that multiple governments have been covering up Alien visits for over 6 decades.

Fortunately for them the Aliens have only visited US friendly countries so they could all be in cahoots and keep this info from the general public.

Could you imagine if Martians landed in Africa, Middle East, China or anywhere else? It would have been total chaos. Apparently the Aliens GPS is extremely advanced and landings only occur in Nevada, New Mexico, Great Britain & Australia.

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,,24069817-5001021,00.html

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Hypocrisy Continues.....

But this time it's coming from my side of the fence.

The Chrysler gets a pass.

He has been getting throttled by the conservative media for these so called "gaffes" he's made during public speaking events. They say he can't put sentences together to make a coherent point unless he's reading from a teleprompter. They say he fumbles and flubs his words and arguments unless it's laid out for him by his writers.

Since when is being able to speak well a pre-requisite for holding office. A talking monkey has been eating bananas in the Oval Office for 8 years now. I feel more at ease trying to understand my 2 year old then listening to Dubya trying to "wing it" during a speech.


How does ANYONE have the nerve to call out the Chrysler for being a bumbling idiot when our own president once referred to a baby fetus, as a baby feces?

Granted, I'm a believer that the Chrysler can't form a coherent thought unless written for him, but by no means does the conservative media have a leg to stand on when they say he can't be Prezodent because he can't talk.

Not everyone can be like Bill Clinton. He sucked too, but I'd buy a mud Popsicle from him.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

My Crystal Ball

I can see 12-36 months into the future. The Chrysler is in office.

Even though his presidential campaign was based on the premise of "Change", there has been none. Zero. Nothing of significance has changed except for taxes. The wild card he holds and will throw out on the table is, "Of course change hasn't happened the way you all want, we're still trying to clean up the mess of the Bush regime."

The blame game is used by all scum politicians. They all know they're able to accomplish nothing so they blame having no results on the prior official. ("W" did it when blamed Clinton for 911)


"Change". What a crock. McCain claims "Change" too, but he doesn't have the trademark for his campaign.

Nothing will "Change", but that logo is enough to get him elected. That, and the other reason people say they're going to vote for him......

"He's inspiring."

Great. Superb reason to vote for someone. He's inspiring.

Coach P was inspiring and he sucked.

Monday, July 7, 2008

5 People I'd like to grab a beer with

"W" - Set aside the fact he's the President, he seems like a personable guy when he's not in uniform. Since he is the President, I'd like to get a read on whether he truely is a bumbling idiot, or if he's going to say something like....."Ya'll have no idea what is really going on behind the scenes causing this chaos. If you knew, you'd see why we're doing what we have to do. And then again if you knew, I'd have to kill you."
I'd rather wait for the "tell all book". Some people are going to get sold down the river.

LT - Even though the one wearing a lightning bolt is one of my favorites, this is the REAL LT. Lawrence Taylor. I read his book in one afternoon. He could keep me entertained long enough for me to finish a case of beer. But as soon as he wants to tug a hit of crack out of a lightbulb, I'm out of there.

Jimi Hendrix - Ummm, A chance to sit there while this guy is having a conversation with me using his guitar? Sign me up.

Adam Carolla - Sarcastic. Dark sense of humor. Strange. Hilarious. King of common sense.

Carmen Electra - duh

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Bizarre Foods 4

Ok, there's a first time for everything. Zimmern, you've strongly earned some credibility.

Zimmern got his ass kicked in some small cave town in Morocco. In order to prepare his next delicacy called 'Kaleah'(sp?), he left this mystery meat in a bowl in his van for 24 hours. Morocco is hot btw.

After hell has taken over this meat, it was then prepared with eggs and some spices.

Prior to Zimmern taking his first bite, he made note of:

"Looks like rotten meat, smells like rotten meat, every fly in Morocco has found its way to my plate." he then takes his first bite. Not a word.,.........for a while. If it wasn't for his sunglasses, you may have seen the vomit building up behind his eyeballs.

I'll give him credit though, he went for a second bite. This time however, begun slapping the top of his bald head over and over as if that was going to help the vile slop get down his throat any faster. Complete comedy.

He's been defeated.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Dog People

Let me throw out the first disclaimer.

If I know you and you bring your dog to my house, that is ok. While here and your dog has to go to the bathroom, he's free to drop a steamer in the middle of my grass or lift his leg on my Gardenia's. You're my guest and it's ok.

That said: Strangers.


WTF is wrong with you? You walk your dog so it can relive itself, but you allow it to relive itself on someone elses yard. Why is that ok? You walk your dog so it doesn't crap & piss in your yard, but allow it to crap & piss in someone elses yard?


It is not my problem if your animal has to go to the bathroom. I don't care if your yard ends up looking like crap because of your dog. I don't care if you have to walk a mile to the next canyon or open lot. It's not my problem.

No, I don't like piss burns in my grass. No, I don't like shit splattered on my ankles after running it over by mistake with the lawnmower.


Grown adults have lost common sense, courtesy & respect. I see it over and over. In the 9th grade I had more courtesy than that.
6:15am every morning I walked my dog 1/2 mile, in the street, to the canyon so she could go. I had more decency at 15 than many of the adults I see.


If you want your dog to trash your yard, be my guest, but you have no right to trash someone elses. I don't care. It's not my problem.

If you think you are a good guy by carrying a bag to pick up your dogs mess, why don't you just let him crap in your yard............and pick it up there?


This is not about dogs, it's about Dog People. I've had 4 dogs. I like dogs and I'm sure we'll have another someday. And when I do, I will have the same amount of respect as I did as a kid.
Or maybe I won't.

Paybacks a beeaaatch!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Brett Favre

I've always like the guy. How can you not. He's a baller, a boozer, a redneck, he's tough as nails, a pill popper and Captain Nice guy.

Rumor has it, he wants to come back.

When you retire as a king, don't unretire to become a joker. Fight all impulses to fuel the fire still burning. You shouldn't go down in history as a chump barely holding on. Please don't ruin the legacy. Go out on top, like Barry. Too many hang on for too long.

The only time you should come out of retirement is if Azubuki Okumbo from Nigeria just scammed your ass and your life savings is gone. Then and only then you could strap it back on and play.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Reasons I could understand being a Liberal

1) If I'm wealthy and an elitist, I could understand being a liberal. No matter what kind of tax bracket adjustment or political policy change occurs, it won't affect me much. I have everything I want in life, and if I don't I can buy it. Why not root for the ones who don't have anything? Why not support the entitlement politicians who are going to help those who have nothing? Why not? It won't effect me. If I didn't, an enormous amount of guilt would hang over my head.
And those wealthy elitists are out there. No, they aren't the CEO's of Exxon & Chevron, but they're out there.
Liberal families' incomes average 6 percent higher than those of conservative families. (Study from Syracuse Univ.)

2) If I'm a music, film or some other kind of celebrity star. First of all, I'm rich so see above. Second of all if I'm Tim Robbins, Alec Baldwin, Ben Affleck or some other lefty liberal, I don't care if the CEO of Exxon is going to come see my films. Chances are he will, but I'm not overly concerned since he is a small minority. There are however, millions of the simple folk who I need to come see my movie. Or see my rock concert. You have GOT to appeal to the peasants not the nobles. Therefore, let's fight for the entitlements of those who have less than me.

3) I'm a mental midget and I make decisions based on my heart and not my brain (see students & Hollywood). Well intentioned political policy based on emotion historically fail,... unfortunately.

The reason I'm not a Liberal:
I am not wealthy nor a celebrity and hopefully not a mental midget (however many disagree) I am Joe Twelve Pack where taxes & policy can effect my life. We must have rules, self reliance, preemptive policies, self thought & small government...............and I'm not entitled to shit. So go help yourself and don't 'expect' or demand it from others.