I'd rather be Jewish

Ever since I learned that Santa Claus wasn't real, it's been downhill. That made the 11th grade a very depressing year.

Christmas has become a drag. If it wasn't for my 2 1/2 year old who is just getting into this fat dude in a red suit stuff, I'd convert to Judaism and just throw up a Menorah.

In order to just get my tree up, I must rearrange no less then 14 pieces of furniture. In order to set the household decorations, I must transfer 126 regular nicknack's into my bedroom. When I wake up in the morning and look at all the junk in there, I'm prepared to roll over and see Red Foxx from Sanford & Son lying next to me.

I electrocuted myself up to my armpit hanging the outside lights because I touched exposed wires that were sticking out of a broken bulb. (note to self, dont have them plugged in while stapling them to the roof while on a ladder)

You spend 20 days preparing for 1 day of delight.

Sandler may have been right. Instead of 1 day of presents they get 8 crazy nights.

And he doesn't need to call a moving company to get his Menorah into the front window.