The Oil Spill in the Gulf

Oil in the ocean sucks. I know oil is important and we need it, but the sooner oil can become a commodity of the past, the better off we'll be.

The oil spill in the gulf has now hit the environmentally sensitive coastline and could be there forever.

A year ago, The Chrysler dropped a monetary nuclear bomb on us, our kids and our grand kids and their grand kids called the Stimulus package.

More money that you can comprehend to jump start the American economy and get shovel ready Americans back to work (and of course satisfy every socialist agenda pet project Democrats have been storing like nuts for the past 30 years)

So now it's time to put up or shut up. I can find you tens of thousands of people in the gulf region that are currently not working. Use your stimulus and get all of these people on the beaches with 20,000 rolls of Brauny and start mopping up that crude.

Conspiracy Theory of the Day.

Damn those Chinamen are smart. It is common knowledge that China is the present day Soviet Union for us. How often do we here about moles, spies, cyber warfare between us and the Chinese? They are ruthless and crafty and we should be scared of them.

Even though they would smoke us if a war ever broke out, it's just not going to be necessary.

Just like Mexico taking over the US through immigration is referred to as "being conquered without a single shot fired."

The Chinese will infiltrate us and take us over without a single shot fired.

I caught my 3 1/2 year old speaking Chinese yesterday. Yes, you've heard me correctly. Speaking Chinese sitting on my bed.

There is a god dammed show on a children's TV network called Ni Hao, Kai-Lan. And yes, they are teaching our youngsters how to speak F'ing Chinese. I know you've seen these bastards, but possibly haven't paid much attention to it.

I'm all up for teaching youngsters different languages, but wouldn't it seem a bit more appropriate to start with something like.........Mexican?

I bet, if you found the root producers of this Ni Hao, Kai-Lan, you'd introduce yourself to the spy network of the PLA, Public Liberation Army of China.

We are so F'ed.

Thought of the Day

Port-a-Johns, Honey-Huts, Irish Spaceships..........whatever you want to call portable restrooms; provide a unique setting for you to fart while taking a leak and not worry who is in line behind you.

Cuz it just doesn't matter.

The Handicapped Stall

I think, by code, all commercial places of business must have handicapped dumping facilities. That would either be a single restroom, which has the handrail to assist the physically disabled OR the nice, over sized, luxurious stall in a heavily trafficked restroom area.

I like using these.

I don't understand why people shy away from the stall with more than enough elbow room, a butler serving hor'dourves, and enough space for push ups in case you're on your first date and need to get in an emergency swell.

I'm not trying to be rude to the less fortunate who need the accessibility of a larger stall, but they were not built for the sole reason of THEM using it. They were built so they COULD use it. Nowhere in the public crapping rulebook does it say the general population can't use it.

All I'm saying is, the chances are SO remote that you'll tie up the handi-stall while a true person of need is waiting outside with his brow sweating because he's about to shit his chair. If that happens, dude, it's just not your day and you'll be crowned king of the A-holes.