Bicyclers

How do I know its Saturday morning? There are 13,000 body shaven J-offs clogging our streets. I hate bicyclers. I would put an "I hate bicyclers" bumper sticker on my car if I didn't have a fear of getting my car keyed when I wasn't around.
What is it with these people? Whether they are in a pack of 100 or riding by themselves, they refuse to stay in the bike lane. They slolem in and out of the bike lane and do their best to trade paint with your front bumper as you pass them going 45.
They run red lights and stop signs. They ride in my lane, but can't go the speed limit. They all look like they got their asses kicked by a pack of Crayola Crayons. What is it with those stupid outfits they wear? It's like a prerequisit; in order to be a bicycler, you must wear neon tights. All the dudes look like they're smuggling grapes down their pants and all the females look like men.
I stand in line at Starbucks on a Saturday morning and if I close my eyes I feel like I'm at a tap dance recital from all those stupid little elf shoes click clacking around the floor.
My biggest gripe is their beliefs that they have equal share to the roads. They are a hazzard. Whether in a pack or by themselves, they are hazzards.