The Olympics are pretty cool. Most events are entertaining and fun to watch. Some events though, you wonder if they were simply conjured up out of thin air.
The Biathalon. Don't get me wrong, it's interesting and seems to take an enormous amount of skill and discipline. However, this is an Olympic sport where you ski on flat land then stop and shoot things with the Olympic issue sniper rifle with live ammo.
There are many things in life that simply don't go together. Oil & Vinegar, wives and fun, Olympic skiing and guns. Imagine the damage that could be done.
Question of the day.
If you are an event participant or spectator and Team Palestine shows up with skiis, an AK and multiple banana clips, do you submit an immediate protest?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thought of the Day
We take a lot of things in life for granted. We all do it and we do it in different ways for different things. Some take their friends or family for granted. Some take for granted the nice stuff they have. Others might take their health for granted.
Growing up in Southern California we take LOTS of things for granted. Lifestyle, activities, clean environment and most of all, Good looking people.
I don't care who you are, where you're from or what case you make, in whole SoCal has the best looking people on the planet. The best looking, the most fit and the most in shape.
Growing up here, we take that for granted. We take for granted that even if we hit a HomeTownBuffet for dinner there will be good looking people there. The beach, the gym, the mall etc. They're everywhere and you never think twice about it because we take it for granted.
With that in mind:
People from the east coast are F'ing ugly. I'm 'not' saying all and I'm not saying there aren't areas of greatness. But it's reality that the east coast isn't pumping out Playmates daily. I've been there, I go there, I've lived there and I see it on TV every day.
Why are they so Fug? I mean, everywhere you turn........ugly, fat, bad teeth, purple ankles. Why?
Not too long ago I was there. I happened to be at a kids play gym. 100 kids with 200 parents. Guess what? The kids weren't really bad looking. It was their parents.
Bad air? Bad water? Too much Buffet? Not enough sun? I don't know.
To draw a conclusion. People out there aren't born ugly, .....they just Get ugly.
So if you can't run through hot chicks when your 5, your fucked. Cuz apparently they only go downhill from there.
Growing up in Southern California we take LOTS of things for granted. Lifestyle, activities, clean environment and most of all, Good looking people.
I don't care who you are, where you're from or what case you make, in whole SoCal has the best looking people on the planet. The best looking, the most fit and the most in shape.
Growing up here, we take that for granted. We take for granted that even if we hit a HomeTownBuffet for dinner there will be good looking people there. The beach, the gym, the mall etc. They're everywhere and you never think twice about it because we take it for granted.
With that in mind:
People from the east coast are F'ing ugly. I'm 'not' saying all and I'm not saying there aren't areas of greatness. But it's reality that the east coast isn't pumping out Playmates daily. I've been there, I go there, I've lived there and I see it on TV every day.
Why are they so Fug? I mean, everywhere you turn........ugly, fat, bad teeth, purple ankles. Why?
Not too long ago I was there. I happened to be at a kids play gym. 100 kids with 200 parents. Guess what? The kids weren't really bad looking. It was their parents.
Bad air? Bad water? Too much Buffet? Not enough sun? I don't know.
To draw a conclusion. People out there aren't born ugly, .....they just Get ugly.
So if you can't run through hot chicks when your 5, your fucked. Cuz apparently they only go downhill from there.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Movie Review
Have you ever seen those nationalistic & patriotic feel good movies like Rocky IV or Victory?
Movies like these take place in a distant land in unfriendly territory. They portray the American as the villain and evil. They boo him, they spit on him, they cheer for his defeat. Yet as the movie goes on the crowds begin to sympathize with the American, they begin to cheer for the American and even begin to root against their homeland.
Come on. Seriously? How ridiculous is that? Are you telling me that Rocky Balboa wins the hearts and minds of those behind the Iron Curtain in the Soviet Union, simply because he can take 1300 punches to the face from Ivan Drago? Are you saying that the WWII Allies POW soccer team wins over the crowd in Nazi Germany? To the point where the stands empty and they help them escape imprisonment?
Imagine a boxing match or soccer game being held in Texas where the main event is Appolo Creed versus Osama Bin Laden or Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Do you really expect if those two suitcase bombers put on a good showing that our tough, homegrown American cowboys are really going to turn on Creed? They're going to cheer on the bad guys and applaud their victory?
No. If anything, Tom Billy is going to come down from the stairs, grab a metal chair and slam it over the back of Bin Laden WWF style.
Keep it real.
Movies like these take place in a distant land in unfriendly territory. They portray the American as the villain and evil. They boo him, they spit on him, they cheer for his defeat. Yet as the movie goes on the crowds begin to sympathize with the American, they begin to cheer for the American and even begin to root against their homeland.
Come on. Seriously? How ridiculous is that? Are you telling me that Rocky Balboa wins the hearts and minds of those behind the Iron Curtain in the Soviet Union, simply because he can take 1300 punches to the face from Ivan Drago? Are you saying that the WWII Allies POW soccer team wins over the crowd in Nazi Germany? To the point where the stands empty and they help them escape imprisonment?
Imagine a boxing match or soccer game being held in Texas where the main event is Appolo Creed versus Osama Bin Laden or Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Do you really expect if those two suitcase bombers put on a good showing that our tough, homegrown American cowboys are really going to turn on Creed? They're going to cheer on the bad guys and applaud their victory?
No. If anything, Tom Billy is going to come down from the stairs, grab a metal chair and slam it over the back of Bin Laden WWF style.
Keep it real.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
One of the great food shows on TV right now is Man Vs. Food. It's a show about this guy Adam Richman who travels across the country to find the best eateries that are known for ridiculous and massive amounts of food. It's total War of eating.
Today was Carl Vs. Food. I went to war with a burrito. However it wasn't because of its unusual size. Today marks the first time in my life I've ever been injured eating food.
My god damned burrito stabbed me in the face. The hardened, sharpened corner of the tortilla stabbed me in my god dammed face, punctured my lip and drew blood. At first I didn't have a clue what had just happened except for something hurt.
I kept chewing, but hesitantly. Like a 7 year old biting into that mini snickers bar that they got from the weird house on Halloween. Did I have a razor in my lunch? Was it a piece of glass? I mean, I'm eating a burrito one second and in pain & bleeding the next. WTF?
What are the chances of that? THAT ain't taco sauce amigo.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Hall of Fame
It's a slow week in the NFL, which is surprising since it's Super Bowl week. For an odd reason there's not much to talk about with the Super Bowl itself. It's a great matchup and lots of marquee players, but the only thing talked about is:
1) If Dwight Freeney will play
2) Peyton Mannings legacy
Thats it. Boring.
So to mix things up I guess, it was Hall of Fame hour this morning on the radio. The topic was if Jerry Rice and Emmit Smith are 1st time ballot inductees. Really. This was debated between analysts. Like I said, a slow week.
Let's break this down.
Jerry Rice: The most productive and reliable receiver in the history of the NFL. Statistically, by far. Played 36 years in the NFL. Arguably the best player in the history of the NFL. Ran a 4.9 40 but could never be run down.
Emmit Smith: Not the best talent at running back in the history of the league, however he was one of the most productive and statistically #1, no question. Lead a team to multiple Super Bowl wins.
It's not like first time eligible inductees are unheard of. I mean these are 2 of the best players in the 90 years of this league.
Why is this being debated. Boring,..... like this entry.
1) If Dwight Freeney will play
2) Peyton Mannings legacy
Thats it. Boring.
So to mix things up I guess, it was Hall of Fame hour this morning on the radio. The topic was if Jerry Rice and Emmit Smith are 1st time ballot inductees. Really. This was debated between analysts. Like I said, a slow week.
Let's break this down.
Jerry Rice: The most productive and reliable receiver in the history of the NFL. Statistically, by far. Played 36 years in the NFL. Arguably the best player in the history of the NFL. Ran a 4.9 40 but could never be run down.
Emmit Smith: Not the best talent at running back in the history of the league, however he was one of the most productive and statistically #1, no question. Lead a team to multiple Super Bowl wins.
It's not like first time eligible inductees are unheard of. I mean these are 2 of the best players in the 90 years of this league.
Why is this being debated. Boring,..... like this entry.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Thought of the Day
As if we didn't know this before, in our society and especially celebrity society, Image is Everything.
Just look at what happened to Tiger Woods. He went from being a mortal God, to being clowned at every corner. His good name was tarnished, he was seen as a hypocrite about family values and people started to back away. His sponsors backed away.
Image is everything and multiple companies with their millions of dollars pulled away from him. Tiger built this brand of himself. The most complete package of athlete and man on earth. And companies profited royally. Yet, they had to back away.
Dos XX beer might have one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns ever engineered with The Most Interesting Man in the World.
If the sales of Dos XX have not quadrupled 10 fold from this advertising I'd be surprised. The man featured is 'THE' man amongst men. If you looked in the dictionary under "coolest, most bad ass M'Fer that's ever walked the planet", you'd find him. (Then Jules)
Dos XX advertising didn't exist until him. Non Existent. Dos XX has put all of their eggs into one basket. All of that recognition and branding of "A Mans Man".
So, I'm thinking......... What happens to Dos XX if:
The cops arrested that guy in a public rest stop along some stretch of Florida highway smoking some dudes root?
Just look at what happened to Tiger Woods. He went from being a mortal God, to being clowned at every corner. His good name was tarnished, he was seen as a hypocrite about family values and people started to back away. His sponsors backed away.
Image is everything and multiple companies with their millions of dollars pulled away from him. Tiger built this brand of himself. The most complete package of athlete and man on earth. And companies profited royally. Yet, they had to back away.
Dos XX beer might have one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns ever engineered with The Most Interesting Man in the World.
If the sales of Dos XX have not quadrupled 10 fold from this advertising I'd be surprised. The man featured is 'THE' man amongst men. If you looked in the dictionary under "coolest, most bad ass M'Fer that's ever walked the planet", you'd find him. (Then Jules)
Dos XX advertising didn't exist until him. Non Existent. Dos XX has put all of their eggs into one basket. All of that recognition and branding of "A Mans Man".
So, I'm thinking......... What happens to Dos XX if:
The cops arrested that guy in a public rest stop along some stretch of Florida highway smoking some dudes root?
The Grenade
90% of men have jumped on the grenade for their boy. The other 10% lie and say they haven't.
We've all been there. Your boys hooking up, she's hot, you're stoked for him................but she ain't leaving without her troll. Yeah her, the ugly friend. The outcome with the hot chick and The Grenade is only happening one of two ways.
1) That Ewok is going to cock block your friend so he gets none.
or
2) You grab your helmet, except your Purple Heart and you dive flat onto that thing.
It's all good. Jumping on the grenade for a friend is something you automatically get a pass for. Like a slump buster. Nobody frowns upon you. You're average doesn't take a hit. You took one for the team and it's all good.
That being said, if you are an ugly chick you'd be a moron not to pay good money to hang out with hot chicks who like to party. She'd get served more steak and eggs than a bed & breakfast on Castro Street.
We've all been there. Your boys hooking up, she's hot, you're stoked for him................but she ain't leaving without her troll. Yeah her, the ugly friend. The outcome with the hot chick and The Grenade is only happening one of two ways.
1) That Ewok is going to cock block your friend so he gets none.
or
2) You grab your helmet, except your Purple Heart and you dive flat onto that thing.
It's all good. Jumping on the grenade for a friend is something you automatically get a pass for. Like a slump buster. Nobody frowns upon you. You're average doesn't take a hit. You took one for the team and it's all good.
That being said, if you are an ugly chick you'd be a moron not to pay good money to hang out with hot chicks who like to party. She'd get served more steak and eggs than a bed & breakfast on Castro Street.
Random Thoughts
This blog is usually about random thoughts. Random obscure thoughts that usually slip into most peoples minds, but make an immediate exit without time to soak in and dwell. Random thoughts for me on the other hand get stuck for a while. Stuck like a crab in a crab cage bouncing off the walls looking for an exit that will never be found. Random thoughts linger like a fart on a windless day circulating in my mind like a centrifuge until I reach my conclusions.
But today I wasn't thinking nor did I have a random thought. No, my mind was not working when I decided it was a good idea to put my 9 month old into her pajamas and ready for bed with no diaper on. WTF do you think was going through her mind?
"Really dad? F'ing really? Do you think I plan on hurdling out of my crib and walking to the bathroom when my bananas works their way through me?"
It didn't take long for me to realize what I've done. 2 Separate functions within 5 whole minutes landed a new pair of pajamas straight into the garbage can with no hopes of salvage.
But today I wasn't thinking nor did I have a random thought. No, my mind was not working when I decided it was a good idea to put my 9 month old into her pajamas and ready for bed with no diaper on. WTF do you think was going through her mind?
"Really dad? F'ing really? Do you think I plan on hurdling out of my crib and walking to the bathroom when my bananas works their way through me?"
It didn't take long for me to realize what I've done. 2 Separate functions within 5 whole minutes landed a new pair of pajamas straight into the garbage can with no hopes of salvage.
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